So Gary Kirsten comes out with his “development” plan for Indian Cricket. Amongst his proposal for “performance” improvements, there’s  this. Here’s an especially telling quote from the  Kirsten’s  “101 thoughts on sex-starved Indian cricket player”:

“From a physiological (body) perspective having sex increases testosterone levels, which causes an increase in strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness.”

I guess he wants to turn the average Indian Player from this:

I'm a complan boy!
"I'm a complan boy!"

to this:

Har!Bowl at me yer bitches. (courtesy
"Har!Bowl at me yer bitches." (courtesy :

In other words, just imagine a team of  11 Dilshans. Pure awesomeness.

Upon hearing this news, it is understood that hordes of cricketers have thrown their hats into the rings, in hopes of getting selected.  Not to be left out of the action, MTJAG went on to postulate how some eminent folks would have reacted to the same:
“I am all for a good romp. I think we should split the session into 2 parts though. Have foreplay to start  with. And then, after the game, complete the formalities. I thought of this during the 2002 Champions Trophy in Sri Lanka.”

“I get the feeling that this argument will go down all the way to the wire. But if I have my way, I’d get some action during the break. I’d be in and out of the dressing room like a tracer bullet.”


“Yes. If any youngster’s watching this, that’s EXACTLY how you play the “between-the-covers” drive. You can go solo if you want, but there’s no practice like match practice.”

Tony Greig:
“Oh yes! This announcement must leave the Indian players dancing in the aisles!”

“Rejoice my friends! Now the Indian trousers will be falling faster than the cycles in the stands of Patiala..”